you are the one who made me as cynical and paranoid of others now. or maybe i was just too naive. either way, it did some serious damage.
Sunday, April 29, 2007 @ 2:46 PM
aah... i forgot to be greatful to all those around me i forgot to stay positive i forgot to help those who needed help i forgot to say "please" and "thank you" i forgot to be calm i forgot to follow instructions i forgot to be more open i forgot to be less nervous and more confident. i forgot how to be confident i forgot the person i was 2 years ago.
we got gold. gold fullstop. no attachment [eg with honours] gold fullstop. =/ ah well.....its over anyways. we'll just try harder in sec 4 (: my batch is lucky i guess.... we kinda have 2 shots at the whole thing. not like our poor sec 3 seniors. only one shot =/ gotta be thankful for what i have (:
after school me and syl went to "help" syzwan, istar and shafeeq [sp for names...sorry] with their drama performance, cos they didnt do it with the rest of us. so after delays, we went into the mps with miss lee. and istar and shafeeq went. and it turns out that they werent ready. or they had stage fright or something. so miss lee gave us another one hour alone in the mps [big mistake muahaha! xD] then we helped them reherse the lines and the whole set thingie once or twice then we crapped! :D we talked about the weridest things. -and hidden things only me and syl could hear ;D - then they started talking about packs o.o packs as in six-packs that is. werid o_o then half-way through the packs-thingie, miss lee came in, catching us in mid sentance xP and so it began~ miss lee started with istar, then shafeeq and then syzwan. then we all tried to beg miss lee to tell us the groupings nothing was leaked though ): then we'll just have to wait (:
then i went with syl and syzwan to the mrt station [extra right? xD] then at last syl couldnt persuade syzwan to come so me and her go macdonalds at ang mo kio hub by ourselves. then do one maths question then gotta go le o.o syl worse, she never even finish one qn haahas! then walk back to mrt station on the way i realised i missed 2 159s ._. live and learn. then finally got home and got back to revision and maths homework. what a day...
tell me if im being paranoid.
Sunday, April 22, 2007 @ 2:30 PM
rawr. i dont understand anything anymore i dont understand anyone anymore i dont understand anything that is happening. does it concern me? am i doing something wrong? am i needed? what is going on? should i do something? why are they like this? what did i do wrong? why is my world crashing down in front of me? what changed? am i alone? what am i doing...? why are you avoiding me? why is all of this happening? who are my real friends? do i even have any...?
so many questions. no answers. i wish it would all disapear like a bad dream.
yays! put the new music player thing le! :D easier to use, then can dont listen to songs when doing other stuffs too much beter then the iweb music thing hahas now the only problem is that it takes forver to load ._. and it will get paused and stuff in the middle of the song... irritating xP but now can have more songs! and easier to switch songs hehe
twisted my back in PE today... couldnt move my head well for so long o.o so pain...x( but at least i feel more normal now :DD Bishan national library is NICEEE!! i went after school today to borrow books... then its so nice and big and glass-y and......clean? o.O borrowed 2 books today... due on the 11th of may. must remember to return them this time... dont wanna face more fines like last time >.< Ouran High Host Club de comics also SUPER NICEE! :DDDD bought the first book today at J8 i wanted Love For Venus, but no stock...): then i saw Carmina and Erica there with their friends. looking at socks o.o ahh... tomorrow got dental appointment... another few meals of soft stuff is coming my way ._.
i should really stop trying to push my luck. people act unconsiously or have i mistaken again? i dont know anymore
Thursday, April 19, 2007 @ 9:06 PM
ahhhh....!! i dont understand this stupid script. okay, maybe it isnt stupid. but its confusing. and confusing is bad. very bad. very very bad. especially when you have to present it in a few weeks actually its week 9-10. bad enough though ._. and monologue next week. even bad-der. i dont even think thats a word. and i havent fully memorised the dialogue yet. let alone the props and minor costumes.
YAYS! i finally found a nice new blogskin for myself! :DD looks nice doesnt it? (: the codes were harder this time round... cos i put the likes and dislikes thingie in hehe :p now just to decide what song to put...hmmm...
but homework come first. -goes to do maths homework ._.-
WOOHOO!! SYF IS OOOVEEEERRR!!!! :DDDDDDDDDD today was fun! skipped school for the whole day hehe (: left house at 8.15am, arrived at 8.35am or something. so early xP luckily, carmina, eugene, prakash and saranya were all there already prakash blur, ended up going to school at the usual time LOL! then we sit there talk crap till 9+ then all the people start to flood in. and mrs kamal brought us all Tim Tams yayy!! xD then we started with the stupidly-sticky-and-oil-based-which-means-it-will-never-dry-makeup. first with the hair. tie the ponytail so high o.o then they sprayed the whole ponytail with silver hairspray! :D after the hair gel that is, to make the whole mess stay in place. and the silver spray stuff looks more like white, which makes us look OLD....but it still looks super cool!! hahas (: then the makeup! gold base this time round though. looks more..um...metallic xD then the usual green computer-chippy-thingies-plus-black-wires-combination and the stupidly wet glitter stuff which goes on the green-boxy-things then after that we went for lunch, then to hwa chong! :) somehow, felt super tired on the bus ride, so fell asleep for abit... then woke up when syl said that she saw people in the hwachong swimming pool LOLS!! then it was the same stuff....just a bit different. more formal haha. this time, we unloaded all the stuff to this empty D&T-ish room. then final touch ups for makeup and costume... and [oh my goshh! xD] 10mins left~! then we went to talk to afiqah, hadirah and sakinah, and then it was 5 mins! scaaaary~~!! :D then we all went up those scary-ish-dark-ish stairs...6 flights or something. then we finally reached the nicely airconditioned drama center. but because it was so silent, it was creepy too hahah then it was time to preset then it was time to go and throughout the 1st part of the play i kept remembering that whole lub-dub thing mrs kamal told us...dont know why it came to mind though xD and [luckily] the whole thing went off without a hitch! then we went to strike, and went back up to watch AMK sec. but when we came up they were already acting so we had to wait ._. outside in the RAIN. well not really, cos there was shelter haha. then they finally finished and we scurried in to watch Yishun Town Sec or something their play was pretty good i guess. nice use of the swing haha. then we had to leave, even before seeing Balliester Hill or something so sad D: then we went back to the bus, loaded everything and went back to Anderson. poor prasan [sp] pulled ANOTHER muscle =O but he made it through the whole play in pain so he was super pain-tolerent :D then when we got back to school, the seniors [sec 4] had to leave usDDDD: so sad and she bu de la :( we're all gonna miss them:'[ then there was pass-over to all the shadow-exco ppl Bryan, Aliya, Afiqa, Carmina, Afiqah and me :DD just think, one more year, and Bryan, Aliya and Afiqa will be gone. and there will only be Carmina, Afiqah and me left as the top ppl for exco ohmygosh thats scary ._. but its still a long way to go.... so i might as well enjoy life till then (:
ahhh! tomorrow is SYF already!! the nice thing is that we get to skip school for the whole day :DD the bad thing is that we're SO damn nervous!!! i really hope we get gold with honours again! but its scary seeing the band and malay dance all come out with just silvers... -shudders- what if we get silver too?! o.o eeks! so scary...but exciting too hahas. hope tomorrow goes off without a hitch! wish us luck!~ :D
i feel like im playing a game of cludo clues are given for you to solve the mystery. some helpful, some not. but the game seems never ending.
the glass vase is broken. it will never be exactly the same again so I'll glue it slowly, a piece everyday... and it might become whole someday. maybe I'll be careless.... while im trying to glue the pieces back together, some other pieces might fall off but there isnt any superglue in life. nothing is permanant. and after all.... a whole glass vase with hairline cracks, is better than no vase at all.
i miss the past hate the present and look forward to the future.
sounds messed up? thats because thats what i am now.
Friday, April 06, 2007 @ 8:22 PM
after thinking more i just realised that im LOST im playing my life by ear and i dont always do impromptu right... so i make more mistakes. when you play impromptu, you have to work well with everyone else but what if you made a mistake so big that the others cant help? what if one of the crucial actors decide to make an exit? will the play fall apart? what will happen.... i think i already know.
cassandra
anderson secondary 6Charitian of OLGC
2/5'er of Anderson Sec
ATC`ian! exco member!
8th june '93
SHE...
...can be very contradicting
...is a sweet and candy addict
...loves dreaming about anything and everything
...has a thing for smiling and laughing at weird times
...loves all her friends and family alot
...likes the rain and cant stand the heat
...can be slow at understanding things so please excuse her
...does not like the dark
...wishes she were more outspoken and brave
...likes taking photos as long as she isnt in the photo
...can get emotionally-unstable at times but just let her be
...usually doesnt like being alone
...despises long distance running
